Ricochet

It's hard. living with ed. personally, i think distractions are the best ways to solve the over thinking

but. as my mum says. i always take things to the extremes. dieting, fangirling, obsessing. because for me. its either too much. or nothing at all

all or nothing. i live by that mindset. then i get tired of it. and it's hard to break away

i need to curb my obsession with teen top. wasting too much money. and i feel so inadequate. so lost. because they will never know me.

i know i sound crazy. but i live by the all or nothing mindset.

i fantasize to be dropped in the middle of the ocean and sink

see all the millions of sea creatures and alien animals.

i hate the sea. because it's too big. too wide. too deep. too unknown.

won't it be amazing to be a mermaid? scarier to be a fish on the reef.
because once it ends, you'd never know what's going to happen in the black abyss of the ocean

thats why i want t be dropped in

to remind myself that all my worries and thoughts are insignificant in this world. smaller than. a microorganism. because it's so vast.

i want to learn to concentrate on the bigger picture