I realised my blog is very... triggering.
i should stop talking about crap
anyway, there are prelims tmr and i'm here stalking people on fb
the you-aren't-alone feeling is reassuring.
and seriously, they are all so pretty/handsome.
honestly. honestly.
it should just cease to exist.
weighed myself. still 47.4
ran...16 rounds today
not all at one go. i'm not that crazy.. yet
but i don;t think im losing the fight just yet :D
you see, when my weight hits 46 plus. i'm happy
of course i am. who wouldnt be?
but i'm scared also. i would hate to start from bloody square one.
but when my weight bounces back, EVERYTIME, to 47.4
it like. major disappointment
but i'm still here. it hasn't taken over yet
sometimes. my thoughts are more rational.
easier said than done though.
but on the other hand, i am making progress.
Ive been eating butter and sugar bread (:
and yam bao again. it's 161 calories. gross or gross.
doesn't seem that big. but to me it is.
one fear food at a time.
but then the guilt always comes back
so i drink water
about 3-4 litres a day
McDonald's and fried food are number 1 on my list.
don;t think i'll ever reach there.
maybe. maybe one day.
just live through one day at a time.
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POOF