Cancer of the mind

I didn't count today.
I half did
but not totally.
Internal screaming now

Keep thinking the world is going to collapse

SHUT UP.

its not.

it's just a few extra 100 calories
for  800m (tmr) and 1500m (friday)

I've got to get at least 2nd place
if not, i'd be a total failure

ihavetoihavetoihaveto.

so i ate more today
ate dinner. udon with carrots and tofu.
snacked on yam bao and potato boro

kept my usual limit on breakfast and lunch though.

but i felt sleepy today.
so munched on Hacks.

felt really tired too. after dancing the family dance 3 times in a row.

i can't tire out now

icant.i really can't

but today was over 1500 for sure

wait

i'mnotcounting
notcountingnotcountingnotcountingnotcountingnotcountingnotcounting

it's just for today
and tomorrow

havetogetit.

havetohaveto. comeon please

i'm scared i'll fail.
everything.

the extent i'd go for track
honestly.

i need a gun to shoot everybody

can everyone leave me the fuck alone thank you.
weighed today.
so people, just fuck off.
it's my bloody life.