go away

i hate it when people confess. its not right
i cant even. no
sick. who in their right minds

fucking agitated now
i cant. just
no
i want to go jump off a building

no not because of a confession or any shit
im just sick
of myself.
of the world

of the weight of failure.
agitation
i want to kill something
anything
just something

no. tired. dont want to keep going
thats it im thrashing my phone today cant take it

sick. veryvery disgusting
its repulsive. everything.

i dont even feel like eating or cutting or sleeping or anything
its different.
i want to escape my head

get rid of everything

but i cant
its going around and around. fucking thoughts.
i cant take it

terrible.
im just counting like mad now.  promised myself i wouldnt
then he came, asking for 5 minutes of my time

nononononononno. that is. omg i can no.
no. everything has double meanings even my own words i can see it so clearly
is so disgusting. and this is not even the worse

no wonder they cant live with themselves after that no wonder i understand now
im the minority and its already tearing me apart.

all the same they are all the same

hopelesshopesless they didnt know i didnt know. no one to blame. fault.
no. dont know didn;t know
not their fault at all

willing. cant blame. stop it.
own will. wasn't them. no. believe me. really really

lies all lies. same. no difference. fault. own fault.
honestly. no one

could have said no. walked away
run away

but i didnt. no. i didnt know. horrible

curiosity killed the cat
it killed.

no. stop.

stopstopstopstopstopstop. stop thinking
hold on

okok. wait. wait.

im counting, it calms me down
wait a while. wait.waitwait. i need to calm down. wait.





do you understand my mood now?
no i dont think you do actually.
its my personal hell. no one is welcomed into it.
actually i told 2 people before. dont ask me to tell you
dont ask me to tell you who they are

dont ask dont please dont i just need to spit this out


they are not my psychs. not even my psychs.
dont ask questions please.

double meanings everywhere sick disgusting. fucking hell

i ant take anymore judgement. no more

no.
im never doing this again

never ever ever never go. away.
id rather die alone.
really im am never

cant

440 special k
138 milk
109 bee hoon
17 egg white
20 carrots
5 dried scallops.

729
729729729729729729729729

that fine
finefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefinefine.

may do 62 for dinner

doubledouble. meanings. sick. i hate the number 69
hatehate no.

i dont know
dont ask

cant breathe. dont want to think
no cant.
im going tumblr

cant take this anymore byebyebyebye